I believe it is not fair if I just keep rambling on about other people. That would be unacceptable, rude, and disrespectful. In the spirit increasing awareness of how greatly different people are and how crucial it is to be tolerance, in this chapter I am going to try to do in depth self-evaluation to myself. This time I will be the object of what I’m going to rant about.
Oh dear, as if I’m not a complicated
over-thinking person already, now I’m attempting to analyze and criticize myself.
All of which I actually have been doing literally half of my life. My apology
in advance if it gets confusing for some of you. Just be ready. Anyway, let’s
see how it goes, shall we?
Let me please go back a little bit to the
time when it was just decided that I would take on being the speaker of EFT
first meeting. I asked Mz. Phia about whether or not the speaker of each
meeting has authority to make the materials then I also mentioned my intention
of focusing not just on self-introduction but also on basic English itself.
Basically her respond was yes and she said that I was free to explore.
In reality after getting that answer from
Mz. Phia, I was focusing ONLY on what I WANT TO DELIVER. I opt not to ask or
find or research much. Why? Because I was already feeling stressed and
overwhelmed. I believed by finding more and receiving more, that would increase
the level of stress I was already in. For days I worked on the materials. I
couldn’t sleep well literally every day prior to the D-day. There were many
points and ideas in my head but I struggled with make it neat or structured so
it can be understood well and easily. I am so glad that I was able to get
through finishing the material.
However, I believe there were some points that I could have done BETTER during that time in preparing the material.
1. I should never be afraid to ask more.
Just because I believed that a certain impacts would happen had I ask more, it doesn’t mean that it would happen. All those negative thinking were only inside my mind. The thing about thinking negatively, it prevented me for doing something that MIGHT TURNED OUT GOOD.
2. I should never be focusing solely on my self-preparation
Just because I didn’t know
who the participants were and what they were going to be like, it didn’t mean
that I had to leave it be like that. I mean being unknown at this case actually
went both ways. Just as I didn’t know the participants, they also didn’t know
me. At that point it was I who had the capacity to change the situation. None
of participant would ever did their research on me or found out who I am prior
to the meeting. But, I could have done that to them. I mean I could’ve had
asked around more, found more what were they like and what did they capable of.
For example I could ask my Mom who joined writing classes by PGRI and got
information about them, or I could ask my fellow team.
I should never be afraid of something I didn’t know yet. Who knew? Maybe I would get more insights and suggestions, then I could prepare more not just material wise but also performance wise. For example, perhaps I could’ve gotten information that the participants were actually varied in age, culture, and background then someone would suggest to that I’D BETTER SPEAK BILINGUALLY SINCE BEGINNING AND SLOWER, as in really slower. That was also what most of the participants complained about. So sorry everyone, I did accept all the criticism wholeheartedly and definitely will work on it.
It would change so many things so much had I done all of those things. But just like people say, “What’s done is done.” We can’t turn back time. What we can do is just move forward. By moving forward it doesn’t mean that we have to forget what happened, just take the good lessons and apply them on the future when we can.
I added this paragraph to say my deepest thank you for those who managed to do the task. Some participants I know wrote a resume regarding what I presented in the class on their blog. I was honestly blown away because amidst of all that happened during the meeting, some of you honorable great teachers STILL COULD UNDERSTAND what I was trying to explain and the messages I tried to convey. Thanks for all the compliments, acknowledgement, and support. You are all amazing. 😍
Ant Clemons - Better Days ft. Justin Timberlake
Here’s a lyric from one of my favorite
song. The title is Better Days by Ant Clemons ft. Justin Timberlake.
There's a light at the end of the tunnel
Keep your eyes on the road ahead
But if you're feeling lost in the night
It's okay to cry
Just as long as you hold your head
'Cause we're on our way to better
Better's ahead, better's ahead
It gets worse 'fore it gets better
But better's ahead, better's ahead
Better days are comin' (better and better and better, ooh-ooh)
Better days are comin' (ooh-ooh, better days)
Better days, better days (better and better and better, oh-ooh)
Better days are comin' (better days, better days)
I know you've been kicked down
Slept on, let down, faith gone
Waited for too long for somethin' to lean on (lean on)
You feel weak, just be strong (ooh)
Deep breath, stay calm
If you just press on, press on, press on
You gon' see there's a light at the end of the tunnel
(at the end of the tunnel)
Keep your eyes on the road ahead (on the road ahead)
And if you're feelin' lost in the night (lost in the night)
It's okay to cry (it's okay to cry)
Just as long as you hold your head
'Cause we're on our way to better (ah)
Better's ahead (better), better's ahead (ah)
It gets worse 'fore it gets better (ah-ah-ah)
But better's ahead, better's ahead
Better days are comin' (better and better and better, ooh-ooh, I know, I know)
Better days are comin' (ooh-ooh)
(Better days, better days, better and better and better, ooh-ooh)
And better days are comin' (ooh-ooh)
(Better days, better days)
I know you feel left out and stepped on
Keep goin', keep goin'
Shine bright, don't dim yours for no one
Keep goin' higher, and higher and higher and higher
Better days, better days are comin' (better days)
Better days, better days (on their way) are comin' ('cause I know)
Better days, better days (better days) are comin' (yeah)
Better days (comin'), better days (I know)
Better days are comin'
I always feel more relax and energize every
time I hear that song.
PS: Please don't be a silent reader. Any of your comments will be highly appreciated. Thank you.
💖Vina
No comments:
Post a Comment