Tuesday, February 8, 2022

The First Milestone in Writing and Teaching (Part 1-7)_Complete

Part 1

Let me take you back where it started. 

On October 30th my Mom sent me an announcement about English Anthology Book project. The theme was "The Unforgettable Time with English". I read the information then I thought "I can do this." I mean why not? The theme was fairly light, easy, and fun for me. I wrote a little about it on my Wattpad. There was required fee but it was affordable, not very expensive. However, I didn't read all the words thoroughly. I misread the deadline. I thought it was October 30th but in fact the deadline was November 30th. Mind you, at that time I was already so busy with my work duties. But then, I didn't want to miss the opportunity.

So I just tried to get it done. I was rushing a little bit due to try to make it sent before midnight. In the end, I sent my script at 11.50 pm. I wasn't sure to whom did I send it. There was just an email account without a name, but it mentioned that the project was guided by Dra. Sri Sugiastuti, M.Pd. 


I got a reply shortly after I submitted my script. It stated that I had to contact Mz.Phia regarding the follow up for this program. I reached out to Mz.Phia a few days after that day. By that time I already joined the Whatsapp Group of English Book Writing, but I saw there were only 4 people there including myself.

Long story short, I contacted Mz.Phia and she said I was the first to submit the script. I was still confused though. I thought I wouldn't make the cut because I sent it late. Turned out, I just misread the deadline! How silly I was. 😅

Couple weeks after that, Mz.Phia texted me. She offered me to be a team on English teaching program for teachers. I said yes. She said it was free and I won't be paid. I said that's okay, I'm still in no matter what. I joined the English for Teachers group chat. We discussed for another couple weeks on the curriculum, timeline, speaker, and everything. 

One day we had a committee meeting via zoom. That was where things started heating up. I wasn't expected that every member of them would be appointed as KEYNOTE SPEAKER! As moderator yes, that's doable. Some of the team might be a key note speaker, yes, I believe there are people in the team who are qualified and have more experiences than I do. But never did I expect that I will be one of the keynote speaker.

I kind of jumped in during the team meeting when we decided on the speakers. "First meeting will be Basic English Self-Introduction, who wants to be the speaker? Miss Vina?" I thought this as fast as I could. If every member on the team would ended up being a speaker, I might as well took up the first meeting. The topic was fairly basic as well. Nothing I didn't know about the topic. 

What I didn't know was HOW TO TEACH? Let me add some more so you know how stressed out I was. 

HOW TO TEACH ENGLISH TO TEACHERS? 

HOW TO TEACH ENGLISH TO ENGLISH TEACHERS? 

HOW TO TEACH ENGLISH TO TEACHERS ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY WHO I AM 100% SURE ARE SMARTER, MORE EXPERIENCED, MORE SUCCESSFUL, AND MORE ACCOMPLISHED THAN ME? 

SOME OF THEM I AM SURE WERE SENIOR TEACHERS, A WELL-KNOWN AND RESPECTED TEACHERS WITH MASTER DEGREE, CERTIFIED, AND MORE. 

WHO AM I DARE ENOUGH TO DO THIS?😓


💖Vina


Part 2

The duration between team meeting and the first class meeting was less than a week. If I'm not mistaken the team meeting was on Tuesday November 23rd. Then the first class meeting was planned to be held on October 30th. During those period, honestly, every single day between that, I was a wreck. Well, to say I was wreck is probably an understatement. I WAS NERVOUS, TERRIFIED, CONFUSED. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't focus on my daily job. I didn't help much with house duties 'cause normally I help out in kitchen as in cooking daily meal for my family. 

I couldn't stop questioning myself. "Will I be good enough? Can I do this? What will they think of me? What am I even going to speak about? Do I write a narration? Do I just speak directly?" The questions just went on and on.

Here's a lyric from a song titled "Wondering" from High School Musical The Musical The Series.

Olivia Rodrigo, Julia Lester - Wondering (HSMTMTS | Ashlyn & Nini Piano Version | Disney+)

Seems like a part of me will always have to lose
Every single time I have to choose
Swore that it felt right, but was I wrong?
Is this where I'm supposed to be at all?
I don't have the answers, not today
It's like nothing makes the questions go away
What I'd give to see if the grass was greener

On the other side of all I've had and lost
Would it be enough, or would I still be wondering?

If I could go back and change the past
Be a little braver than I had
And bet against the odds
Would I still be lost?
Even if I woke up in my dreams
Would there still be something I'm missing
If I had everything, would it mean anything
To me?

Feels like I might have broke the best thing that I had
I said too much to ever take it back
Scared I'll never find something as good
And would I even know it if I could?

From the other side of all I've had and lost
Would it be enough, or would I still be wondering?
(Or would I still be wondering, oh)

If I could go back and change the past
Be a little brave than I had
And bet against the odds
Would I still be lost?
Even if I woke up in my dreams
Would there still be something I'm missing
If I had everything, would it mean anything

Maybe I should turn around and take the other road
Or maybe I'm just looking for what I already know

I'm just wondering

If I could go back and change the past
Be a little brave than I had
And bet against the odds
Would I still be lost?
Even if I woke up in my dreams
Would there still be something I'm missing
If I had everything, would it mean anything
To me?

Would it be enough
Or would I still be wondering?

To sum up what I was feeling, it was a WONDERING. I was wondering way too much about myself and about what was going to happen next.

I tried to keep my spirit up, give myself some pep-talks, and I shared what I felt to my family, my colleagues, Mz.Phia, and the rest of the team. It helped calm me down. I'm grateful that I had been surrounded by kind people and their positivity. 

I used the limited times and resources I had to prepare as best as I could. I understood I couldn't be perfect in doing it, and no one expected me to be perfect. I JUST HAD TO DO IT. 

However, I couldn't help it. I have always been an over-thinking person. When I looked up for a fun PPT template, I believe it took me more than 24 hours until I was satisfied. And guess what? I changed the template ONE DAY before the schedule. I don't know. My first PPT template was actually good. It was bright and attractive. But one day before I was supposed to teach, I changed it. I ended up using Canva presentation template. I found it easier to handle because there are so many fun elements there, the editing and adjusting process were also easier to do. All in all, it was manageable.

Oh yeah, almost forget. I felt like I needed more time to prepare myself not only materially but also mentally. On October 30th, I was supposed to come working at office while the other admin staff named Pak Yoyok was supposed to work from home. It has been our system since the pandemic. I asked Pak Yoyok to switch with me. So he came to office on November 30th but worked from home on November 29th when he was originally supposed to come to office. I came to office on November 29th but took a day-off on the 30th. Was that confusing?

Well anyway, on the D-day, October 30th, in the morning, I was feeling queasy. I was hungry but I couldn't stomach eating anything. I had a cup of fruit salads in late morning around 9.30 am but before that I didn't eat anything, and I woke up at 4 am.

I was still dealing with preparation. I wrote down my narration so I could speak fluently without having to say, "Ummmmm....." Here's what I had written down sequentially.



I felt more prepared and confident after I wrote those notes. I had few hours to spare so I decided to rest a little. I took a nap for one hour and a half before noon.

At noon I woke up and opened my Whatsapp. One of my colleague named Ibu Evi asked me to come to the office because there were so many food brought up by Pak Ditsar, one of our clinical psychologist in the department. He just had his second child born and wanted us to celebrate together. In Islamic term it is called Aqiqah. I was hesitant to come to office but Bu Evi convinced me that the sooner I went to office, the sooner I could go back home. So I went to office after I moved my laptop, charger, headphone, and other necessity into my sister's house. My sister lives in 2 houses next to my house. She has a spare room, so I asked to have the meeting in that room. There are just so many people in my own house and prefer a quieter place so I could be more focus. I left my house and went to office around 12.30 pm. 

When I arrived in the office, I realized I was starving. Remember, I only had a cup of fruit salad on that day. So, I ate wholeheartedly but just enough, not too much. After finished eating, I decided to help out in cleaning the table and tidying up here and there. Seeing the time, I asked permission to leave and went back home. In the middle of the road, the rain poured down heavily. My pants and the front of my hijab were soaked. I arrived at home at 2.30 pm. I was closing it really tight. The class was almost started.

I quickly parked my motorcycle in my house, took off my helmet, then still wearing my raincoat I went to my sister's house. Luckily, I put a spare pants there already. So I hastily took off my raincoat, went inside, prepared my laptop and everything. While my laptop was starting up, I changed my pants. I was still wearing my soaked hijab, because I didn't prepare a change for that. It wasn't soaked that bad so I let it air dry. 

At exactly 3.00 pm, everything was ready. I took a deep breath and entered the zoom room.


💖Vina


Part 3

What a day! What a moment! What an experience! 😄

Here's what happened during zoom meeting and what I did for the rest of that particular day.

The moderator for first class meeting was Ms. Leni from Jakarta. She was very lovely, kind, and great in doing her job. I was happy that we got to work together. I wish we'll get another opportunity to do it again. 😍

The beginning of the class went as well as could be expected. When it was my time to speak I started to deliver the presentation that I prepared. There were 32 slides in total. I also put my notes in front of me so I wouldn't missed on what I was going to say. 

There were six sections on the presentation slides. 

1. Disclaimers

You can actually see on Part 2 in a picture of notes that I put there. I mentioned that disclaimers for me was necessary because I needed boundaries and assurances. I'm not a "formal" teacher with teaching degree like S.Pd or M.Pd. I never had or give any English lecturing. I only ever did a private tutoring with no more than 2 students and they were all kids. I never taught anything to any adults. I never even became a speaker for nation wide, ever. I never speak anywhere but in English debating environment. My debating experience was different compared to what I was going to do. I was going to LITERALLY TEACHING all teachers from all around Indonesia. I broke a record of many firsts I did on that day.

Having said that, it was bound to be different. There had to be different expectations, opinions, views, methods, and so forth. THAT IS WHY I made some disclaimers. 

2. Speaker's profile

In this section, again, I was going tell a little bit about my upbringing. A quick story of where I came from and how did I get there. An unknown person, a non-teacher, out of nowhere TEACHING to INDONESIAN TEACHERS. At the end of this section, a ruckus started to rise.

I admit that some of what happened was due to my recklessness in delivering my presentation. I spoke way too fast for them. I used full English since I started speaking. People started to get confused. They scratched their heads and put their hands up. The chat room was blown up. People saying, "Please slow down.", and things like that. It was pretty comical though. 😁

Ms. Leni then spoke up. She kindly told me what was happening and she also helped me so much in calming down the participants. I could never handled that situation well if it wasn't for Ms. Leni. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you very much Ms. Leni. 😘

After we got the situation under control, I continued my presentation only this time I tried to use bilingual, mixing it with Bahasa.

3. All About Mindset

For this section, let me rewind a little bit further. Why did I made this section?

As you can see, the topic was BASIC ENGLISH (SELF-INTRODUCTION). For me, seeing that title, I thought "That was easy. Anyone can do self-introduction. What more can I tell?" Yes indeed, there are some aspects regarding self-introduction but like, it wasn't that much. I confirmed to Mz. Phia prior regarding the rundown of the meeting. She said I had 50 minutes. 50 minutes to only speak about self-introduction was way too much time.

So I decided to explore on the BASIC ENGLISH. But, I didn't want it to be like regular things we got in school. As far as I know the formal curriculum at school is more like a "themed" chapters. For example, first chapter is about classroom. Teacher told students that pencil is pensil, eraser is penghapus, table is meja, and so forth. That was not what I wanted.

When I think of BASIC ENGLISH, I think about the nature of English. English is a language. Then the nature of language is a way of communication. Then communication was inherently everybody's need as human. Meaning that communication is important and when we think more about it, everything keeps evolving. The world, the people, the technology, everything keeps changing. In order to keep up with that we had to be able to communicate better. That's why we need to see English as a communication, something that we needed to understand and to master.

I believe it's ALL ABOUT MINDSET because like it or not, that's where everything starts, MINDSET. Just seeing who we are right now, what do we do, how do we see things, what are our characteristics as a person, all of things are subconsciously from the mindset that we had before. People decided to be teacher because they wanted to share knowledge, to educate future generations. It was huge self-less act that came from where? MINDSET.

If people think that their life is all about money and profit, they would not choose to be a teacher. They would take business class, be entrepreneur, or work in big companies. But teachers are none of those ideas.

By changing our mindset about how we perceive English language it would increase our determination to learn English. We understand the urgency of it, so we feel that we need to learn it. Then the nature of learning is a PROCESS. PROCESS TAKES TIMES. It's going to be different for each and every single individual. Some might be able to go faster, some might need to go at slower pace, but it will be okay as long as we got the right mindset in the first place.

It will prevent us for giving up when we're facing obstacles, it will fuel us to keep going on further.

In relation with proving how big the importance of the right mindset, I was also attempt to invite the participant to not use anything as excuses. One of the excuse that people usually mentioned to justify their lack of English ability is THEIR PAST LIVE. They said how they were born in remote area or villages with no access. Some said they never had any English lesson back when they were still in school. The list goes on. 

With the right mindset I was going to encourage everyone to shift their point of of view regarding their past live. We should not dwell on the past. Let's be grateful and be at peace with the live we had, all the memories we made and the knowledge we gained. Let's try not judged our past as good nor bad rather than just IT HAPPENED, meaning there was nothing we could do to change it. The only thing we can do is move forward. Let's grow into a better person, do better at what we can do, learn better so we can improve more, and share better to the others. 

THAT IS WHAT I WAS ATTEMPTED TO EXPLAIN. 

Fiuuh.. This has gotten more emotional than I thought. 😅

For the 4th to 6th section, let's continue on the next part.


💖Vina


Part 4

We're back again. Let's continue without further ado, shall we?

These are the next 3 sections I had left from presentation slides.

4. Basic English

During the transition from the previous section to this section I got cut off. I'm going tell what happened exactly later on.

Now I would like to explain what is the purpose of this section. Here I was hoping to give some tips for beginners on how to start using English easily. I categorized it into 4 major points which I think are the essences of communication. The 4 major points were reading, writing, conversing, and speaking.

Before I was going to elaborate on each point. Again, I prepared a case where I wanted to bring different perspective which is the learner's point of view.

The usual process of how come people who at least had gotten an English lesson in their life before but could not apply it in current situation. People think of English as a foreign language. Nature of foreign is different or uncommon. Unfortunately whenever something uncommon regarding communication appears, what people do is TRANSLATING the language. Anytime they receive anything in English they would think, "What is the meaning in Bahasa?" As times went on the level of difficulties on the subject itself increased. So many new themes to learn, words to memorize, grammars, and so forth. It got more difficult. Finally, they lost interest in the language.

Now, what if we do not do that? What if we do not differentiate any languages?. Just think that foreign language means new language to learn. We learn so that we can understand and apply it. So, what's the better thing to do here?

We start with basics. First one is from the easiest activity to do in English which is reading. Anyone can read any English text. The alphabets are the same as Bahasa. What people think it's difficult is understanding it. However when you try to understand an English text, it's better to understand it as a whole, NOT TRANSLATING EVERY SINGLE WORD.

What is the text about? 

What is its purpose? 

What is the main idea? 

What does it explain? 

What is the conclusion? 

Those are the questions that can be used when we read anything in English. Focus on the context and content.

Second is when you write anything in English. Almost similar like when you read, again, let's not tend to translate. When you write you're the one who gets to control on the writing. Have no fear. Don't concern too much if you make the right sentences or not, if you proper words and grammars. Don't think too much about how it's going to be. Just write it first. 

What do you want to write?

What's your story?

What are you feeling?

What are you thinking?

Just pour everything from your mind and heart. Make the words appeared.

The third point is tips for when you're in a conversation. Try to grasp what are you and the others talking about? See the context. 

Where is the conversation taken place? 

Is it a meeting at work or casual hang out in restaurant? 

Those are some of the questions that can be used as a guidance.

The last point, the forth one is when you speak.

This is what commonly found as the most terrifying to do by people who just started learning English. In this point I only had ONE SUGGESTION which is JUST GO FOR IT because IF YOU NEVER GO YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.

I was hoping to push everyone who hasn't dare enough to speak up. There are no reason to be afraid. You all got this. You know the words in your head I'm highly sure. Just sound it out loud. Don't keep them in your head. Nothing can be perfect on the first try and that's why we practice. 

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT.

Let me add few thoughts regarding grammars here. I do believe that learning grammars is important. It makes huge different meaning in the language. BUT, do not use grammars as an excuse or as a justification that English is hard. Take it easy. I'm sure as time goes on, technology and people are developing, there are a lot of ways to learn grammars easily. Back then when I was in middle school, I could only rely on my teacher to teach me grammars. It took me years to really understand and able to use them. When I take a look back of what I wrote in middle school, I feel a little embarrass. I can tell you that it is nothing like how I write nowadays. 

Let's back to during the meeting. As I mentioned before, I couldn't get everything I was attempted to share out fully due to being cut off in the middle.

As I was going to move on to this section with all those explanation I prepared, someone in the room who is not a moderator suddenly cut me off and said, "Miss Vina, can we please start practicing self-introduction now?"

To be honest I was shocked. My respond then was, "Sorry. Is it because of the duration or what?" After that I just said to everybody who joined that I ALREADY PREPARED materials on self-introduction and I was going to deliver it later. I still had times based on the duration. 

After that, I could not think as clearly as before again. I allowed myself to being cut off rudely. The rest that I prepared was just went out the wind.

Finally I was like, "Alright everyone. You can now practice introduce yourself." But inside I still think that it was rude and unacceptable for someone to just cut me off in the middle. If this said person happened to read this, just so you know, that by the time you are reading this, I had moved on; not forgotten because it was memorable and somehow a little funny. But I understood the reason behind that action. I just hope that next time we all can do better than that.

After that, the only thing I thought was JUST GETTING THROUGH THIS. Just get this done because then I had more things to do next.

Finally, some participants were given a chance to introduce themselves and they were all very happy to do so.

In the middle of it all, I tried to slip in some materials I got left that I didn't get  to deliver, again, because I was cut off.

The next section on the slides I prepared was supposed to be as follow:

5. Self-Introduction

I was going to explain some easy ways to do it. I prepared some examples I made by myself. I even did couple researches on this.

6. Practice Drill

On the last section was where I was planned to have the practice drill. There was video of self-introduction mentioned but I was honestly just meant that to be a SUGGESTION. They can do that as THEIR OWN PRACTICE.

Due to my shock residue from being cut off, I ended up telling the participants that it was their assignments which then led to yet another ruckus because some participants thought it was too difficult for them. Also because we already announced the they had to make and submit resume for each meeting. 

What I gather was that RESUME is the original assignment and it was hard enough to do so that we did not need another assignments. 

At the end of the day, the committee decided that it was OPTIONAL. Participant can CHOOSE whether they decided to make and submit resume OR make a video task. 

Not that I didn't care anymore but at that moment I honestly just thought WHATEVER 😒. I was relieved it was over😌. I  commend the team in their quick thinking and reacting to this issue. I was grateful for that.


💖Vina


Part 5

I would like to dedicate this part of the series of The First Milestone in Writing and Teaching to ALL PARTICIPANTS who joined my class session on November 30th. This is my special tribute to all of you great teachers all around the nation.

First of all, I could never say enough thank you that all of you decided to join the class. I am sure that every single one of you had your own business. Maybe in that day you were super busy, maybe you were having a big problem, maybe you were just not in the best mood and spirit. And despite everything that was going on in your life, you still CHOSE to join the class. You were willing to spare your time, your energy, and your brain in order to learn something that YOU WANT, to listen to someone YOU NEVER KNEW BEFORE.

Remember the first day when our WAG was created? It was blown up. More than 200 participants filled the group in span of hours. One group chat was full in less than 48 hours so the team decided to create 2nd group chat. There were constant posts everyday all day long. Everyone was so pumped up and happy that it existed! Question on where the class would start kept appearing.

Please do remember that before November 30th, I never once got the opportunity to be your acquaintance anywhere at all, be it online classes, WAG classes or anything, WE NEVER MET ANYWHERE and WE DID NOT KNOW EACH OTHER. I’m not a teacher therefore I had never had any business with PGRI community. Some of you I am sure already had relationship with one another for weeks, months, or even years prior to EFT program; for example like in the same group of writing class or speaking class or any other program under PGRI.

As a nobody, an outsider, with only Diploma title and short amount of experiences, I honestly felt NERVOUS. Prior to the 1st meeting I paid extra detail to EVERYTHING EVERYONE SAID on group chats. I gathered that many of the participants are English teachers; just great, smart, successful, and accomplished teachers. Even the non-English teachers were just as great, smart, successful, and accomplished. Most of you had so many achievements and way way more experiences than I ever had. There are writers, bloggers, motivators, poets, content creators; the list goes on, while I am just a regular office worker with an unimpressive life.

Every time anyone posted a link of their YouTube channel or blog, I opened it and I just thought “wow”. In my mind it was like, “Who are these amazing people? Who am I compared to them? How could I dare enough to teach them anything?” There were moments when I doubted myself. I thought there was not much that I could ever share to you. I would never want to come across as disrespecting you.

But then I tried to push myself and did not back down. I didn’t want to run away. I always believe that when fate gives me something to do, it means I CAN DO IT. Even though it was I who decided to do it, if I didn’t have even the smallest confidence in my ability, I would never say YES in the first place. So I just stayed focus. I used all the times I had to prepare the best I could.

Second of all, I will attempt to try to see things from your point of view. Here’s what I got. Each of you had your own unique characteristics and background. You all came from different places and cultures. You were also from different era with different upbringing. There was a wide range of ages.

As far as your intentions in joining EFT, I could categorize it into 3 main groups. But before I go further, let us all established that every single participant was not 100% completely new to English language. You know the language, you see it anywhere, you did ever get English lesson no matter when it happened, you listened at least to one English song and watched at least one movie in English language. So please never think that YOU DON’T KNOW because YOU DO KNOW.

Based on the intentions of why you decided to participate in EFT, I’m going to say there are 3 main groups of people.

1. Participants with beginner level of ability

2. Participants with intermediate level of ability

3. Participants with advance level of ability

Please take a note that by ability I mean about basic language ability which are reading, writing, and speaking. Speaking means all type of speaking such conversation, speech, story-telling, poetry-reading, public speaking, and so on.

I’m not going to put each of you into a certain category because you’re the only one to know and understand your self-capability.  PEOPLE MAY HAVE OPINION BUT THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS YOU BEST ARE YOURSELVES.

One similar thing that every participant had was A PURPOSE. You have one same purpose to join EFT which is TO LEARN and IMPROVE. Those are THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS.

It doesn’t matter where you are right now in terms of your English ability, if you feel like you’re a beginner or not, all doesn’t matter. You have the same purpose.

Having said all of that, I know that everybody’s expectations were bound to be varied. One would expect the speaker to be very good and fluent in English; maybe speak with the correct pronunciation all the time, use impressive vocabs and correct grammars, and many more. The other one would perhaps expect the speaker to just be friendly, patience, teach slowly, and engaging. Then the other other one might expected the teacher to be just straightforward teaching the topic. Imagine 250 participants with 250 different expectations, then who did you think get to decide what kind of teacher you were going to get? Was it you? No, it was not. At this point no one could ever choose what kind of teacher you were going to get. On the other hand, it was the same; no teacher could ever choose what kind of students he/she was going to teach.

That is why all honorable great teachers out there who are participating in EFT class, we all need TO BE READY since the beginning. Let’s start fresh! Just like the beginning of school year. Or perhaps you could imagine yourself as a new student in a new university and just about to meet your first lecturer.

No matter where you are right now and which level that you think you are, the main goal was the same right? That is TO IMPROVE a.k.a BE BETTER. Remember where did I mention a whole case about being better? On my 3rd section on my presentation material which was ALL ABOUT MINDSET.

Now, the formula to get your goal is the same. So after putting your mindset properly, the next step will be JUST DOING IT. That was it! JUST DO IT! By doing it, I mean using everything you have, practicing what you can, and utilizing all that you can use; just all around LEARNING.

Let’s take a few tangible examples.

1. Whatsapp group chats

It is never quite over there, isn’t it? But guess what? That is exactly how it should be. It’s a facility to accommodate your learning process. You get something every day all day long just by joining and checking the group. You can practice your reading from chats and posts, your listening as well; but don’t just stop there. Take it even further. Go practice your writing. After that, do some more, practice your speaking skill.  Let the other knows what you think, hear your voice, share what you have, be more engaging.

Please let me know, is there anything that you can’t do at all in group chat for the sake of your English improvement? I am sure the answer to that would be NOTHING. There is nothing that you can’t do in group chat for the sake of your English improvement. Pick what you want to do over there and then JUST DO IT.

2. Zoom meeting sessions

Zoom session is a place where participants can interact directly though virtually with other participants, speakers, and teams. You get valuable lesson from everyone, not just from speaker. When someone asks something, everyone would listened so you practice your listening at the same time someone who ask a question practice her/his speaking. When the speaker gives her/his presentation you get to practice your reading and listening. Even in the chat room, you also practice your reading and writing if you decide to send a chat. Not to mention on Q&A session, you can ask anything you want then discuss some more. The amount of lesson you get is infinite.

3. Expand your network

A lot of times you might find other person that you think can help with your personal affair. For example, if you’re an English teacher who has been having trouble in your class, you can ask other English teacher for suggestions. Another example, if you’re a teacher who maybe currently working some writings and in need of reader’s feedback or others point of views, you can share your work and have everybody else read it. There are no limits I think. But, we still must uphold good ethics and social values while doing those.

Based from those examples, is there anything more you need?

I might came across as someone who tends to give TOUGH LOVE; a hard headed no nonsense girl from out of nowhere. I admit that sometimes I do that. What driven me more is my rationality. However, in my defense, I also understand very well that I can't always be rational. There are moments where I need to put aside my thoughts and concern more what the heart says. I mean like be more empathetic, loving, things like that, I guess. 😍 Or maybe, there are also moments when I can be both rational and empathetic at the same time. Do you know what is the key answer to all of that? BALANCE. Balance is one thing I've been working on so far until now. I'm learning how to do that and most likely will still learning about it for as long as I live.

I’m going to add or update more later on when I think of anything else to say on this matter. In the meantime, how about letting us know what do you think?

💖Vina


Part 6

I believe it is not fair if I just keep rambling on about other people. That would be unacceptable, rude, and disrespectful. In the spirit increasing awareness of how greatly different people are and how crucial it is to be tolerance, in this chapter I am going to try to do in depth self-evaluation to myself. This time I will be the object of what I’m going to rant about.

Oh dear, as if I’m not a complicated over-thinking person already, now I’m attempting to analyze and criticize myself. All of which I actually have been doing literally half of my life. My apology in advance if it gets confusing for some of you. Just be ready. Anyway, let’s see how it goes, shall we?

Let me please go back a little bit to the time when it was just decided that I would take on being the speaker of EFT first meeting. I asked Mz. Phia about whether or not the speaker of each meeting has authority to make the materials then I also mentioned my intention of focusing not just on self-introduction but also on basic English itself. Basically her respond was yes and she said that I was free to explore.

In reality after getting that answer from Mz. Phia, I was focusing ONLY on what I WANT TO DELIVER. I opt not to ask or find or research much. Why? Because I was already feeling stressed and overwhelmed. I believed by finding more and receiving more, that would increase the level of stress I was already in. For days I worked on the materials. I couldn’t sleep well literally every day prior to the D-day. There were many points and ideas in my head but I struggled with make it neat or structured so it can be understood well and easily. I am so glad that I was able to get through finishing the material.

However, I believe there were some points that I could have done BETTER during that time in preparing the material.

1. I should have never be afraid to ask more.

Just because I believed that a certain impacts would happen had I ask more, it doesn’t mean that it would happen. All those negative thinking were only inside my mind. The thing about thinking negatively, it prevented me for doing something that MIGHT TURNED OUT GOOD. 

2. I should have never be focusing solely on my self-preparation

Just because I didn’t know who the participants were and what they were going to be like, it didn’t mean that I had to leave it be like that. I mean being unknown at this case actually went both ways. Just as I didn’t know the participants, they also didn’t know me. At that point it was I who had the capacity to change the situation. None of participant would ever did their research on me or found out who I am prior to the meeting. But, I could have done that to them. I mean I could’ve had asked around more, found more what were they like and what did they capable of. For example I could ask my Mom who joined writing classes by PGRI and got information about them, or I could ask my fellow team.

I should never be afraid of something I didn’t know yet. Who knew? Maybe I would get more insights and suggestions, then I could prepare more not just material wise but also performance wise. For example, perhaps I could’ve gotten information that the participants were actually varied in age, culture, and background then someone would suggest to that I’D BETTER SPEAK BILINGUALLY SINCE BEGINNING AND SLOWER, as in really slower. That was also what most of the participants complained about. So sorry everyone, I did accept all the criticism wholeheartedly and definitely will work on it.

It would change so many things so much had I done all of those things. But just like people say, “What’s done is done.” We can’t turn back time. What we can do is just move forward. By moving forward it doesn’t mean that we have to forget what happened, just take the good lessons and apply them on the future when we can.

I added this paragraph to say my deepest thank you for those who managed to do the task. Some participants I know wrote a resume regarding what I presented in the class on their blog. I was honestly blown away because amidst of all that happened during the meeting, some of you honorable great teachers STILL COULD UNDERSTAND what I was trying to explain and the messages I tried to convey. Thanks for all the compliments, acknowledgement, and support. You are all amazing. 😍

Ant Clemons - Better Days ft. Justin Timberlake (Performance from Fair Fight/Rock the Runoff)

Here’s a lyric from one of my favorite song. The title is Better Days by Ant Clemons ft. Justin Timberlake.

There's a light at the end of the tunnel
Keep your eyes on the road ahead
But if you're feeling lost in the night
It's okay to cry
Just as long as you hold your head

'Cause we're on our way to better
Better's ahead, better's ahead
It gets worse 'fore it gets better
But better's ahead, better's ahead
Better days are comin' (better and better and better, ooh-ooh)
Better days are comin' (ooh-ooh, better days)
Better days, better days (better and better and better, oh-ooh)
Better days are comin' (better days, better days)

I know you've been kicked down
Slept on, let down, faith gone
Waited for too long for somethin' to lean on (lean on)
You feel weak, just be strong (ooh)
Deep breath, stay calm
If you just press on, press on, press on

You gon' see there's a light at the end of the tunnel (at the end of the tunnel)
Keep your eyes on the road ahead (on the road ahead)
And if you're feelin' lost in the night (lost in the night)
It's okay to cry (it's okay to cry)
Just as long as you hold your head

'Cause we're on our way to better (ah)
Better's ahead (better), better's ahead (ah)
It gets worse 'fore it gets better (ah-ah-ah)
But better's ahead, better's ahead
Better days are comin' (better and better and better, ooh-ooh, I know, I know)
Better days are comin' (ooh-ooh)
(Better days, better days, better and better and better, ooh-ooh)
And better days are comin' (ooh-ooh)
(Better days, better days)

I know you feel left out and stepped on
Keep goin', keep goin'
Shine bright, don't dim yours for no one
Keep goin' higher, and higher and higher and higher

Better days, better days are comin' (better days)
Better days, better days (on their way) are comin' ('cause I know)
Better days, better days (better days) are comin' (yeah)
Better days (comin'), better days (I know)
Better days are comin'

I always feel more relax and energize every time I hear that song.


💖Vina


Part 7

It had been almost a week since I started writing this series of The First Milestone in Writing and Teaching. I'm planning on making this part THE LAST PART. So, deep breath, get the fingers ready, get it all out, and finally, MOVE ON. That's what I'm hoping to do.

Here we go.

This series started from the very beginning of how did I get involve in English for Teachers program with PGRI. I told the whole chronological details and I tried to see everything from every aspect I could think about. I stated my defenses as firm as I could but I also threw the ball back as hard as I could.

If I try to sum up this whole experience into a phrase, it would be that NOTHING IS PERFECT.

Before I go on further, there's one more thing I haven't yet mentioned and I need to get it off my chest.

When we had the second meeting of EFT on December 2nd, the idea of how teacher must understand the students, know what their thinking and everything, it was all being brought up. I might be over-sensitive, I mean to most of you that was actually considered a general idea, wasn't it? The common term for that is STUDENTS CENTERED I believe. It honestly could be for anyone. It wasn't brought up to offend any particular individual at all. You are all teachers so the message could be perceived and implemented by any of you. But, I couldn't help that I felt like I was being guilt, again, added to the fact and IT WAS ALSO BEING BROUGHT UP by the end of the meeting.

There were a decreasing number of participants on 2nd meeting compared to 1st meeting. That is a fact. On 1st meeting we managed to get around 78 participants, meanwhile on the 2nd meeting it was around 58 participants. The team, advisor, and some participants stuck around and held an evaluation on the same zoom room right after the class was finished. It felt like another hit for me. They just simply correlated the decreasing number of participants as a result of lack in promotion AND the way the appointed speaker taught the material.

Upon that case, here's what I've got to say.

The idea of comparison

I believe before we compare anything, we should set some parameters first. We can never say one thing is better than the other without clear grounded strong parameters. After that we could explore both sides, be it subjectively or objectively. The comparison will come up later after we find all the data that we need. 

I'm going to give an example, a feasible example. The EFT teams could have prepared and discuss everything they needed before having the zoom meetings. So, it didn't just about discussing who would take this week meeting and who will be speaker for next meeting. But, a deeper discussion was needed to make sure that everyone on team was on the same page.

Make the parameters of each meeting, work on the materials together, do brainstorming, give each other suggestion, find all the data necessary, ensure that the upcoming meeting would be better prepared from all aspects, then finally do the analysis, have the meeting, and then the evaluation. If we do that, there wouldn't be any confusion. Not to mention, that every single thing would be done objectively for the sake of the learning itself, not about personal or individual preferences.

It could help in clearing out the air and making each member of team bounded with one another. Each member could get to know the other better. The working environment could be more conducive.

I get it though. Working together with other people is not easy, working together with other people you meet every day is not easy, then imagine working with other people REMOTELY with people you had never met before or even known before. That would be even more difficult.

I can’t speak for everyone else nor can I tell everyone what they’re supposed to do. I can only do those to myself. For me, I WILL SAVOR EVERY MOMENT. I’ll just take everything I can; the goods, the bad, and all in between; they are all LIFE LESSONS. Life lessons are invaluable and they stay with me for as long as I live. They make me grow and develop more. Finally, growing and developing are ways so that I CAN BE BETTER.

Wow! That's all. I'm finished with this series.

Thanks for those who have stumbled in my page and stuck around. 

PS: Please don't be a silent reader. Any of your comments will be highly appreciated. Thank you. 


💖Vina

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